It’s easy to think Stoicism is all about the lone wolf, strong, self-reliant, untouched by the outside world. And yeah, there is power in the individual. That daily internal check-in. That ability to sit with discomfort. That kind of mental toughness Stoicism sharpens.
But that’s only part of the picture.
See, the Stoics never said “go it alone.” They just said don’t depend on others for your sense of peace. Big difference.
Community matters. Even for the Stoic.
In fact, if you look at the roots, Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Epictetus, none of them were out in caves hiding from the world. They were in it. Holding court. Teaching. Leading armies. Advising emperors. Guiding others. They believed that we’re all part of the same organism. One body. One collective soul. So how you treat others… that’s how you treat yourself.
“What injures the hive injures the bee.” – Marcus Aurelius
And that’s why community, especially for men, especially today, is vital.
We’ve got this weird story running in our heads that says we’ve got to figure it all out alone. That asking for help or wanting real connection somehow makes us weaker. But the truth is, real strength is built in the company of others, not away from them.
Now, that doesn’t mean trauma bonding, or group venting with no direction.
It means:
- Training side by side with people who actually give a damn.
- Walking and talking through real stuff, not just the weather.
- Holding space for each other without trying to fix each other.
- Knowing you’ve got a circle that’ll challenge you and hold you accountable.
That’s where Stoicism hits different. It’s not some cold detachment. It’s about showing up fully, not controlled by emotions, but not avoiding them either. Not clinging, but still caring. And being part of something where everyone’s trying to sharpen themselves and each other.
I started Stoic Training and the community side of this whole thing because I knew I couldn’t do it all alone either. I don’t drink. I don’t do the pub thing. I’m not into small talk or pretending. But I do need tribe. One that moves. One that thinks. One that’s hungry to grow.
So if you’re reading this and you feel like the lone wolf, you’re not wrong to want your space. But maybe it’s time to find your pack.
One that doesn’t just nod along.
One that trains, breathes, reflects, and gets you.
That’s what Stoicism looks like in the real world.